Wednesday, September 21, 2011

A Step Forward

I remember this fear like it was yesterday. I remember the feeling like I might burst open, any moment, and expose this secret -- and I trembled at the thought of the reaction. It dominated my every thought, pushed me deeper and deeper into this hole in my head. So I let it out.

And even though the reaction wasn't anything like this man's father, nine years later, I'm so glad I did. 

I cried watching this. I cried for my own experience, how much it hurt, for the wrecked relationship I have with my own family, for how very much I wanted (and still want) to hear this exact reaction. I cried for this man, thousands of miles from his family, for his excitement at the end of DADT and the fear in his voice as he asks, "Can I tell you something? Will you still love me no matter what?" I cried for that Alabama accent, and for the people who make the South a place I love to live. I cried for those of us who didn't get that reaction, and those of us who feared the worst but instead found support and love. I cried for those who spoke to me this week, telling me the mean, painful, and antagonistic comments their parents and friends made in reacting against their gender identity and sexual orientation. I cried because somehow, coming out gets easier with each successive person. But you never forget that first time. You never forget that first family member.

I send my love to Germany tonight, and to Troy Davis in Georgia. 

Wednesday, September 14, 2011

Pleasurists #147

Red Sheets by

Welcome to Pleasurists, a round-up of the adult product and sex toy reviews that came out in the last seven days. If you like what you see and want more of it be sure to follow our RSS Feed and Twitter.

Did you miss Pleasurists 146? Read it all here. Do you have a review for Pleasurists 148? Be sure to read the submission guidelines and then use the submission form to submit before Sunday September 18th @ 11:59pm Pacific.

Want a shiny new toy? All you’ve got to do is enter.

Editor’s Pick

  • Barbara Carrellas’ Urban Tantra by Lucy Lemonade
  • I would describe Tantra as the presence of body and mind, breath, and pure enjoyment. This is the description I’ve developed from reading Urban Tantra, what I felt the book was trying to convey to me. Like some individuals I had the thought that Tantra was only for white, upper middle-class couples approaching mid-life crisis. Finishing Urban Tantra I consider it an excellent solo practice for self pleasure which can be combined with another individual.


Scarlet Lotus

This week’s reviews:



Anal Toys

Sleeves, Rings, & etc.

Lube, Massage Oil, Bath Stuff, & etc.


Adult Books & Games

Adult DVDs & Porn

Lingerie & Shoes


Pleasurists adult product review round-up

Monday, September 5, 2011

Sex Toy Review: Blue Spiral G

I remember seeing glass dildos for the first time years ago in a piercing parlor and headshop in the town I grew up in. They sold for a steep $150-$250, but dear me, they were gorgeous. I have such an attraction to the craftmanship of glass -- the colors, the glassblowing process, the way the material catches the light.

I secretly want to build a collection of glass dildos and display them as art pieces, but my roommate has shot down this idea. She's probably right.

That said, I couldn't comprehend why anyone would want to use a glass sex toy. But I admit, my interest is sparked by the usual. When a lover bought one last spring and used with me, I was sold. I bought my first glass dildo within two weeks. 

Why glass? I prefer it for two major reasons -- it's safe because it can be sterilized, and the shear unyielding weight of the glass allows me to tighten my muscles around it, creating very unique orgasms. But there's more -- glass can be heated and cooled. It's very easy to grip with your vaginal walls, so it makes a fun toy for dominance/submission play. There's something delightful about making your partner hold it in while being spanked. Glass is also wonderful for anal; the smooth surface prevents friction, which can cause tears in the anal walls. If you're sore (anally or vaginally) after intense play, the cool, smooth surface of glass feels great. And, again, it can be sterilized, so it's ideal for safe sex.

But there are drawbacks to glass. Obviously, glass can break, so it must be stored carefully. The unyielding, heavy nature of the material can be both a strength and a detriment. It's not something you want to use with a lot of force because there is no give and take with your body; I'd wouldn't recommend strapping this into a harness unless you really knew what you were in for. Then there is my least favorite part about glass -- taking it out. After orgasm, your vaginal and anal muscles naturally retract, squeezing tight. It can take a few seconds (or minutes) to relax enough to get the glass dildo back out. The mushroom head on these toys can catch on your vaginal walls, making removal almost painful. If your anal walls or vaginal walls are very tight, I would recommend going with a glass toy that does not have the mushroom top -- but instead, going for something with a smooth tip.

The Blue Spiral G is a classic example of a glass dildo available at EdenFantasys sex toys. It has the standard shape -- a slight curve which accommodates the natural curve of the vagina and the anus, and a bulbous mushroom head which stimulates the g-spot and sits up right against the cervix during vaginal sex. With a little clitoral stimulation, this piece can produce some intense orgasms. It also makes for fun Kegel-ing, though unlike Ben Wa balls, you can't carry it around all day and squeeze. The length, 7 1/4 inches, is enough to satisfy most size queens. If that size intimidates you, remember that it doesn't have to go all the way in; it should leave enough to comfortably hold on to. The wide base is perfect for anal; the dildo will not go in too far.

The spiral adds a really nice texture, which I prefer over the simple, unadorned pieces. The price is incredibly reasonable; $24.99 versus $179.99 for a similar piece. (I cannot tell why there is a $150 difference in these two items, though I'm guessing they are simply from different manufacturers.) To clean, boil it or put it in the dishwasher.

It's a nice toy if you want a simple glass dildo, not something rose-shaped or heavily textured. A word of caution though -- and my only true complaint about the dildo itself -- the mushroom head is proportionately wide to the stem of the toy. If your vaginal and anal walls are tight, this is going to hurt coming out after an orgasm. Give your body a minute to relax, use plenty of lube, and rotate this toy with others -- don't use it every time.

The toy comes packaged in a red velour bag inside a plastic box. Store this toy carefully; the bag is not thick enough to adequately protect the toy. (My other glass toys came in padded velour bags. I wish this toy did, too). If you see a chip or crack, do not use it again.

On a final note: If you haven't played with glass yet, you're seriously missing out. I can't tell you enough how much I wish I had bought one sooner!